


Cold, Amorphous Blobs & Christmas

by lalazee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Comedy, Eren teaches Levi shit, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 02:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3272927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalazee/pseuds/lalazee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“And, to answer your question, you're doing this because it's our first Christmas dinner together and you want to impress my mom.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold, Amorphous Blobs & Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> An EXTREMELY late Ereri secret santa that I figured I should post anyway. The request included: Eren teaching Levi something for once, fluff, and perhaps the involvement of parental figures. HERE IT IS...

Levi shoved his hands in the ass of a turkey carcass and sighed.

“Remind me why I'm doing this again.”

“Hand me all the giblets and stuff inside there,” said Eren.

“What the _fuck_ is this?” Levi pulled out something that looked like a skinned dick.

“That's it's neck,” Eren said, taking without a thought and dropping it in a small cooking pot on the stove.

“Why is it's neck in it's ass,” Levi said under his breath, his hand diving back in and emerging with several turkey parts that looked vile and unrecognisable. He wasn't even going to _ask_ what those were. He silently handed them off to Eren.

“It's just where the butcher stores all the extras,” Eren said with a shrug. “If you boil them up to a long, slow simmer, it makes a great base for gravy.”

Levi made a face and turned away to focus on the turkey. It sat, a defrosted, featherless lump in the sink. Levi made another face and turned on the faucet to rinse the bird off, as per instructions.

“I don't know why you're complaining, anyway,” Eren said as he clanked around with pots and pans behind Levi. “You're a fucking _surgeon_. You regularly stick your hands into people.”

“People make sense. This... this is just a cold, amorphous blob.”

Levi turned off the water and picked up the slimy turkey. He dropped it with zero finesse onto the cutting board.

“Whatever you say,” Eren said in his ear, suddenly behind him. With lips brushing Levi's temple, Eren slipped his arms around Levi and gave him an affectionate little squeeze. “And, to answer your question, you're doing this because it's our first Christmas dinner together and you want to impress my mom.”

Levi cut off the instinctive urge to voice his denial. It was still difficult not to bite Eren's generous, giving hands off at the wrists when faced with them. Hey, Levi was working on it. He wouldn't be rushed.

“I'm impressive even without cooking some crappy dinner.”

“Yes to the first and no to the second, because this dinner is gonna be awesome.”

Eren gave Levi one last squeeze and released him. Feeling a little cold, Levi turned to see what Eren was doing, only to be accosted by an apron slipping over his head.

“ _No_ fucking way I'm wearing that,” Levi said, ducking away from Eren.

“Oh, come on, Levi,” Eren said with that stupidly charming, wide smile of his and bright ocean eyes.

Quickly, the situation escalated into a chase – but Levi had always been quicker. In the end, Eren was the one wearing the apron while Levi just rolled his sleeves back and silently vowed he wouldn't splash a single thing on himself, and that was that.

“How do you make this ugly thing edible,” Levi said, watching carefully as Eren set out some onions and carrots.

“First, let's cut these into big chunks to sit beneath the turkey. It keeps the bottom of the turkey from burning, and it adds great flavour to the veggies.”

Levi nodded, but still just stared. How did you cut an onion? Was there more than one way?

“Um,” Eren said, sliding beside him until their arms bumped. “I'll do the onions, since they're a bit trickier.”

“I know my way around a knife, Jaeger,” Levi grumbled.

“Don't say frightening things,” Eren said, pushing the carrots toward Levi, anyway. “Just chop those into large chunks, maybe the length of your thumb. You want it rustic.”

Brow furrowing, Levi took his large butcher-looking knife and set upon chopping the fuck out of the carrots. There was no skill or delicacy required like with surgery, and yet Levi found that he still felt like he wasn't doing it right.

He glanced over, noting the way Eren's knife flew with quick, cutting accuracy. Eren's shoulders were relaxed, his soft mouth curved a little as he hummed to the far way Christmas music drifting in from the living room radio. His unruly hair needed a cut, and a thick wedge of bangs hung over one eye, the tips caught in Eren's eyelashes as he blinked.

A year ago, had someone told Levi he would be standing in here, he wouldn't even have bothered to laugh at the lunacy of the situation. He'd have the person committed for straight-up insanity.

Levi had been an overworked, under-rested, top heart surgeon at a prestigious hospital. His apartment had been vast, grey and unlived in, while he'd survived off microwavable meals and takeout.

They had met in the operating room. When Levi's hands had literally touched Eren's heart. Leci had saved Eren's life, and rest became history.

Now, they both lived in Levi's apartment. It wasn't grey, but painted in warm creams with accent furnishings of sunset colours, like tangerine and mustard and shocks of sky blue. It was a home now, and not just a place to sleep.

Eren had thrown out the microwave.

Now, Levi was cooking an entire Christmas dinner because he had lost his mind, apparently.

_And_ he wanted to impress Eren's mom. So what?

“Those fucking onions are making me cry,” Levi said, wiping is cheeks with the back of his hand.

Eren laughed wetly and looked over, tears streaming down his face. They met each other's eyes and both sputtered a laugh, Levi angling his head away, the back of his hand conveniently covering his mouth as he grinned. Someone had once told him he smiled like a serial killer, and since then he'd always been a little self-conscious about it. Not that he'd admit it to anyone, ever.

They both paused to wipe their tears with a towel and washed their hands. Eren offered to hold up the slimy blob turkey in favour of allowing Levi to knock the veggies into the deep roasting pan. The rest was shockingly simplistic. Butter, oil, salt, and pepper.

Why had Levi been so intimidated by cooking all this time? It was basically science.

“That was easy,” Levi said as he watched Eren slot the turkey into the oven and set the timer.

Eren laughed and raised an eyebrow at Levi.

“You say that _now_. You were looking at that turkey like it had pulled a gun on you.”

“I'd have preferred it having pulled a gun on me.”

“It could have. You didn't know what it was hiding in that giblet orifice.”

“Say 'giblet orifice' ever again and you're never getting laid.”

Eren's smile only widened before he turned and opened the fridge.

“Beer?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Eren offered a glass bottle, then yanked it out of reach when Levi grabbed at it.

“Don't I get a thanks for saving your ass this Christmas?”

For a moment, Levi considered Eren quietly. He didn't think he could tell Eren that he'd saved Levi in more ways than one. Not yet, anyway.

So, instead he gave in.

Levi's palms cupped Eren's face and brought him down for a firm, quiet kiss. Lingering a little too long, savouring Eren's warm, inviting scent, Levi bumped his nose against Eren's in a rare display of playfulness.

Taking a deep breath, Levi found his voice beneath the hammering thud of his pulse in his ears.

“Please don't ever make me stick my hands in a turkey's ass ever again.”

Hours later, when the dinner was in full motion and Eren's mother was charmed as hell by everything, Eren was still laughing.

Okay, maybe sticking his hand in the turkey had been worth it.

 


End file.
